Potentially Mistaken

So I’m scrolling through my timeline on twitter and I come across this post…

RULE. NUMBER ONE. NEVERRRR FALL IN LOVE WITH POTENTIAL. I read this and paused for a second. My mind started pondering, I looked around my room and suddenly got an urge to blog about it. Y’all, I am so guilty of falling for potential. Not even just with people, but simple things. The potential in a job I knew wasn’t for me but pushed for it anyway, and the potential in situations I would have been better off leaving alone, also known as men. Throughout all these mishaps, I’ve come to realize all of them have one thing in common, TIME WASTED. We all know regardless of anything, time waits for no one, so why waste it? I sincerely had to ask myself this.

Potential in THE job

Following graduation, I landed two internships; the first being with a small documentary film company in NYC, and the second being a 5-month gig with ABC News. It felt like my resume blossomed overnight once I added ABC News to it. Anyway, after this internship ended, I just knew this was where I wanted to be. As an intern, they paid more than others, (NBC, CBS, etc) and pretty decently. Who wouldn’t want to associate with THEE ABC News as a recent college grad?! I felt blessed beyond measure for the experience, and my sweet paychecks. I became staff for the company, (with a different division) a few weeks after my internship concluded. However, this department focused strictly on hard news and was nothing like my internship. Not to mention, my first day on the job was the Parkland Massacre. I began thinking about coming into work learning about tragedies that happened overnight, or breaking news occurring at the moment and felt drained. I deeply longed for a job that made me feel like it wasn’t a job… and this wasn’t it. Nonetheless, I stuck with it for 5 months because of potential. Potential that it’d get better, I’d feel better and grow to like politics, but boy was I wrong. I HAD to get out. I began networking and learned about an open position at a late night talk show that focused very little on hard news. I landed the gig, and I can say I finally feel somewhat on the right track. As a Production Associate at Watch What Happens Live w/ Andy Cohen, work is fun. It’s hard work at times, but it’s entertaining. I get to meet celebrities (I met my oh so pretty soror, and Hampton Alumna Gizelle Bryant pictured above, and many more), rehearse as Andy during rehearsal, and there’s room to grow.

Potential in People

So now, to address this tweet. Dude tweeted “only real females see ya potential in you when u don’t see it,” LOL. You have to be immature to have a mindset like this. How can you deem someone “real” for seeing something YOU couldn’t see in yourself? I have to ask… if a female (or male) doesn’t want to deal with you because you don’t have your sh*t together, is s/he wrong? Can you HONESTLY feel a way? If you said, no… congratulations, you’re decent. If you said yes, seek help and maturity because somewhere along the lines… you’ve lost your sh*t. I’m saying this because I’ve been there before. I wish I knew what I know now, and could reclaim my time, but guess what? I can’t. So, I’m gonna drop some gems that work for me.

Don’t get me wrong, there ARE circumstances that work out when you believe in someone, but it’s like gambling… you may or may not win them over. Therefore, say so and/or having a plan isn’t enough. I need execution to take place. I base everything SOLELY off of actions because words don’t mean anything. Yeah, you talk a good game but can you back it up?

“Goals without plans are simply dreams and if a man has the potential to do everything he says he wants to do but takes no (or very little) actual steps to achieve those goals, it’s very unlikely he’ll ever get to the finish line.” – Madamenoire.com

I had my fair share of dealing with people based on potential, and guess where it got me? NOWHERE. I remember dealing with this dude who was a cool individual, but his sh*t was far from together. We had similarities, he wined and dined me, everything was great when we were together, but his communication sucked beyond belief, AND he had zero aspirations. I should mention that I saw this within two weeks of talking to him, so you’re probably wondering why I stuck it out, huh? I was ignorant and had a serious case of wanting better for him, MORE than he did for himself. I found myself finding better jobs for him, giving advice he barely took AND a whole lotta other sh*t. I really wanted to “fix” his mindset, and show him that he was worth it. Time wasted to say the most.

“…if I’m not putting any work towards making that happen, then you can’t trust that it will. This is why you must let your values drive your decision making in a mate, instead of your hormones or fear of loneliness.” – Coderedflag.com

This quote above makes me think of: You can lead the horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink. If someone isn’t willing to realize their own greatness, you can only do so much. Save your breath, and just remove yourself from the equation.

I say all this to say, time doesn’t travel backward. If whomever you’re dealing with aspirations and goals don’t match yours, just move on beloved. You don’t want to be months or years into dating, and you’ve grown… while they’re stagnant. Know what you have to offer and find someone equal or better. Base everything off actions. Don’t talk about it, be about it. And remember, “A man without his word, has nothing.”